Date: 05/02/2012 9:34 PM Title: Chapter 1
This is a great little piece and provides an intriguing glimpse into the team's upbringing. One small concern - I have read this before and I think you're missing part of a paragraph during the second portion of the test. Otherwise, great work and I'm looking forward to reading more pieces set in this prequel world.
Date: 03/09/2010 4:38 PM Title: Chapter 1
Well done - it's taken me too long to get to read this.
To me, one of the big mysteriesin BotP is when did Mark have time to go to the Academy!! You've tied it in nicely and I can see that if we put it in context of the series, I suspec tthat he's only graduated possibly a few weeks (at most!) earlier.
I loved the interaction between all the characters - and especially the little tiny bit about Mark's injuries when he was learning to use his boomerang.
Author's Response: Thanks! That tiny little bit was a blot bunny that I thought to expand at some point....started with the excerpt "New toys" interestingly enough. Perhaps someday I will expand it.
Date: 11/17/2008 5:43 PM Title: Chapter 2
I should have read this before "New Toys". Actually, I did. I found where I read it a long time ago, but I didn't leave you a review. My apologies.
Part 1: Your use of the e-mail was very affective in moving your story forward. And the e-mail addresses of the team members (except for Mark). Thumbs up to them. I like the fact that you don't overuse this style.
Part 2: The interaction with Tiny is very well written. Nails or darts - a very interesting e-mail exchange. I liked your description of the test. The final conversation fits the story well. (Don't want to give too much away if anyone is reading reviews to decide if they should read the story...)
Author's Response: Glad you liked it! I was trying to figure out how to incorporate other characters when the story was centered at the Academy and Mark. The email thing just hit me when I was writing it and then flowed from there...perhaps aided by chocolate. :)