Date: 07/31/2012 4:57 PM Title: Chapter 8
I can't express how much I love this. Again, Thank You! Upon rereading, I noticed how more than training, the surgeries and shared loss is what brought them together as a team even before the team was officially formed.
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked your gift. :) I do imagine that they're the only ones who can really understand each other from very early on.
Date: 07/24/2012 3:06 PM Title: Chapter 8
I LOVED this. Nice twist, having Mark not selected because of who he is, but really wanting to be. And not having him and Jason at daggers drawn all the time. And that's a very clever retcon having Keyop as older than he looks/is because he's not quite human. And I do like that you haven't gone for Anderson as single father of five - not that it's wrong, but it's good to see people do something different.
There's a followup, right? Where we learn why Isabelle isn't part of canon?
I only had one qualm and it's really minor and nitpicky - a lot of the scenes with four year old Mark sounded like a much younger child to me. There's a lot of carrying going on. I know he's had tragedy in his life, and I can buy handholding and hugs, but I don't know a four year old boy who'd be seen dead being carried.
Beautifully written, smooth, easy read, completely plausible different take on things. Loved it. Want more.
Thanks. :) I saw that note on battleoftheplanets.net about Keyop not being a kid and the elfin alien thing, and I thought hmm, that really deserves to be used somewhere. I've got a few notes on possible follow-ups. One might be on what happened to Isabelle (I don't have that answer yet). Another might be on what causes Jason to get a bit bitter (I do have some ideas on that).
For a bit I was going to have him a single father of five, but the more I thought about it, the more I thought well, these are kids and they're going to suddenly have super-powers, but they won't have self-control. At minimum his place would have gotten trashed. At worst, Mark in particular could have gotten seriously hurt or killed. I love to explore the ramifications of where technology and society intersect (and that's why I enjoy your work so much!)
When it comes to children, I don't have any (this gift exchange was an interesting one for this reason alone). Both of my betas do, and they did their best to straighten me out in a number of spots, but it's entirely possible that once they fixed the worst of it they didn't notice the rest. :) I'm pretty good at writing cute kids, but I'm better at it if I don't have to be specific on their ages, and writing kids in trauma and their reactions age-wise was definitely a learning experience. Nothing like asking a variety of friends awkward questions!
Date: 07/23/2012 2:18 AM Title: Chapter 1
This was great! I love the way you made Mark as the one who's desperate not to lose another family. It totally fits Mr. Responsible. Anderson as the overworked parental figure, was a perfect fit also. All of his angst to keep Mark out of the G-Force project was totally engaging. I really love this one. If you ever feel like continuing it, I would love to read more! :)
Author's Response: Thanks! I actually have an idea or two, so I just might. :) It was a big stretch, I never imagined I'd write a BOTP origins story, but that's the fun of gift exchanges. Never quite know what you'll be asked to create and sometimes it really works!
Date: 07/21/2012 1:19 PM Title: Chapter 8
This a new begin, i like your way to make together the team, and love the Keyops name... Thanks so much to sharing with us...
Author's Response: Coming up with an explanation for Keyop's name took a bit of thinking. :) Thanks!