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Gatchaman Fiction Archive :: Transmute!
Reviews For Desolation
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Reviewer: TransmuteJun Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 12/12/2013 8:53 PM Title: Chapter 9

A very interesting background for Princess, and I can see how it developed, but I feel like we have the beginning and the climax, and the middle is missing. I would have liked to see a bit more development of Princess growing up, her immersion into G-Force, discovering her identity, etc. Although of course, that would have taken more time and words... I guess I'm just never satisfied when I see a good idea. ;-)

Author's Response: Funny, Chris White said much the same. I guess that leaves a lot of material to explore if I turn this into a series with a lot of little vingetts. If you (or anyone else) wants to write it, I'm happy to open it up.

Author's Response: Funny, Chris White said much the same. I guess that leaves a lot of material to explore if I turn this into a series with a lot of little vingetts. If you (or anyone else) wants to write it, I'm happy to open it up.

Reviewer: Becky Rock Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 10/29/2013 7:42 PM Title: Chapter 9

A wonderful ending, Lyssa. Everyone is happy, although I can't picture Jason as the President of anything. :-) I especially liked they named their son Keyop.

Author's Response: Out from the shadow of Gatchaman, maybe Jason with the backing of is Spectran parents might just grow up. Especially with Swenia, his wife at his side. But that, as they say is another story.

Reviewer: Becky Rock Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 10/27/2013 12:12 PM Title: Chapter 8

This is going to be hard for Princess. I've really enjoyed reading this so far and look forward to the finale.

Author's Response: Thank you for your unending support of this work. Yes, Princess's decision will cause difficulty for her and another team member. I hope you like the conclusion.

Reviewer: Chris White Signed [Report This]
Date: 10/21/2013 7:54 PM Title: Chapter 3

Usually I don't comment until I'm finished reading, but you've really skipped too much between chapters 2 and 3. You just drop this whole Mark having to kill his own sister thing on us almost as an aside, but that's not from the original show, and it seems like something we should have experienced with him (we know nothing about this sister, I thought Princess was supposed to be his pseudo-sister and didn't know about another). We don't even see Keyop's death. You skipped Mark's finding out the truth, too, and Princess's. I think you could have gotten away with the second, but it would have been a powerful scene to see Princess and then Mark having to deal with the shock and loss of trust. For Mark it would be all the harder because she lied to him too by not telling him, and Princess would have to deal with that.

I catch myself all the time summarizing over difficult sections while I'm writing. I have to ask myself if something would be much more interesting/vivid/powerful if I take a breath, back up, and write the scene directly instead of skipping it to move the story along.

I'm still reading, I just wanted to share these thoughts while they were fresh in my mind.  



Author's Response: Chris, read on and I think all your questions will be answered. I've re read several several chapters and it will all make sense. For Mark Princess is his sister, the quote is supposed to be from ferice flower's when he thinks he's killed princess.

Reviewer: Becky Rock Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 10/06/2013 7:13 PM Title: Chapter 6

That's what we've all wanted to do to Zoltar. The question is what will the team do with the information.

Reviewer: Springie Signed [Report This]
Date: 08/29/2013 12:37 AM Title: Chapter 1

Poor Keyop...and I can understand why Princess is taking it so hard. I like the concept that they are all from different planets...that explains the green hair! *grin* I also liked the idea that Keyop was a combo of all of their genetic material. It will be interesting to see where you go with this...

Reviewer: Becky Rock Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 08/20/2013 12:54 PM Title: Chapter 4

I've enjoyed reading this, Lyssa. Alternate histories are always fascinating.

Author's Response:

Thank you.  I've always wondered why they'd call the only female member of the team Princess.  With  her leith form and grace, I saw her as a princess from childish eyes.  In BotP, to the best of my limited knowledge, the background of the teams is rarly discussed (except The Sky is Falling).  I guess we can all open it up to our own interpertation.

Reviewer: Becky Rock Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 07/12/2013 5:36 PM Title: Chapter 3

Yes, this is serious, but I'm thoroughly enjoying it.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review.  More to come soon.  This might just be a defining moment in Princess's life.

Reviewer: Becky Rock Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 07/05/2013 11:44 AM Title: Chapter 1

Very interesting, Lyssa. I'm looking forward to more.

Author's Response: Thank you.  I'm just starting out in the Si-Fi arena so I'm never sure how my writing will be received.  This work is a departure for me so I really appreciate the time you've taken to respond. 

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