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Gatchaman Fiction Archive :: Transmute!
Reviews For Heat of the Moment
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Reviewer: Candi Gomez Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: 05/01/2010 1:03 AM Title: Heat of the Moment

I like this. A lot!!

Just one thing: the comment at the beginning about "should have been a plumber"? My kids are into Ben 10. Gave an extra laugh, anyway! :D

Reviewer: ghost owl Signed starstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 03/01/2009 7:21 PM Title: Heat of the Moment

I liked this short piece. Stories from an outside point of view provide a fresh insight into the main characters. Two nitpicks: "my father's steps" requires a possessive apostrophe, and 58 isn't old. Give it a few more years and you'll see what I mean ;)

Your story was interesting, well paced and concise. Nice job.

Reviewer: jublke Signed [Report This]
Date: 10/09/2008 3:22 PM Title: Heat of the Moment

I love the ending!  I also like the subtle inclusion of the word "goat" to honor the goat's tail challenge.  And yes, that story idea generator packs quite a wallop, doesn't it?

Reviewer: Becky Rock Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 10/03/2008 3:05 PM Title: Heat of the Moment

That was a great read. I enjoyed it.

Reviewer: cyscoe Signed [Report This]
Date: 10/03/2008 9:08 AM Title: Heat of the Moment

This is awesome.  Your descriptions of the action and the quick pace really amped this piece up.  Not a Condor in sight, but I really, really enjoyed this piece.

Reviewer: Nephedra Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: 10/02/2008 11:06 PM Title: Heat of the Moment

LOL. I love the line "Well, Aunt Merv in the Henhouse!" It clearly dates him. This was a wonderful response to the challenge. That story generator is eeevil. Ha!

One little typo I think..."grateful for the added few (minutes or moments?) of life."

Author's Response:

Thanks for pointing out the typo. All fixed now!

I'm glad you enjoyed it. The spunky old guy definitely dictated to me how he wanted the story told! At first he was supposed to die (the 'tragic' part), but he didn't like that one little bit. Obviously that was changed immediately. The line you mentioned came out of thin air! And once it was down on paper, I didn't change a bit of it in revision. It just felt so much like him. ;)

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