Date: 11/20/2008 6:00 AM Title: Chapter 1
I love the fic. It is funny and, first of all, Keyop seems to be a real person in it. I like the way he thinks and tells his story.
The whole world is believable, authentic - you can e.g. hear and feel it when Phoenix is in the air.
I'd like to read more...
Date: 11/18/2008 2:22 AM Title: Chapter 1
This was a great read, albeit a bit disturbing at times too - bullies can be terrifying. I loved the resourcefullness and courage that Keyop found in his situtation, but loved most the the team's answer to the problem.
Author's Response: I think this is the closest I'll ever get to writing a torture scene, because even something this mild creeped me out. (I have a lot more in common with Zark than I thought, apparently.) But it had occurred to me that the life of an ordinary kid in the city can be hard enough, and maybe Keyop's off-duty time was anything but relaxing at times. Working at the club would put him and his speech impediment on public display, and we've all seen bullies picking on the kid who isn't like them. What's more, Keyop would be eminently capable of defending himself physically, but what would happen if he were put in a position where he couldn't do so without blowing his cover? And what if he couldn't contact his teammates to help him? The fic grew from there.
Date: 11/17/2008 1:29 PM Title: Chapter 1
I'll admit, this isn't the kind of story I usually associate with Keyop! And I have never given quite as much consideration as you do (or, to be fair, the BOTP writers ever did) to keeping their civilian cover. The idea of the Medic Bracelet was perfect, and would only have been better if Keyop could have explained his shakes and vomiting on his 'ongoing condition'.
But the best part of this story is in the way the team comes together and defends one of their own. That is the primary message of BOTP, after all, and you carried it through without having the story seem trite or manufactured.
You should also get special kudos for writing a Keyop story with a minimum of broops. ;-)