G-Force: Guardians of Space Opera by ElectricWhite
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Thanks to littlewolf for Doctor Eviscerator!
Agatha June awoke to find herself on a cold, metal table. She couldn’t move her arms and legs, and a sheet covered her up to her neck. The table was in the center of a circle of bright light; Aggie could only see total darkness beyond.

A man stepped up to the table. He wore a white lab coat and a black top hat. He had a handlebar mustache that was so long he could easily wrap a hand around each side. His slicked-back black hair seemed to be greasy enough to lubricate a limousine. A pair of beady eyes hungrily roamed over Aggie’s form.

“Your evil plan will never succeed, Doctor Eviserator!” Aggie said in the most confident tone she could muster.

“Is that so?” the doctor replied with a dastardly chuckle while he twisted an end of his mustache.

“Yes! G-Force knows all about the Doomdrill! You’ll fail, just as all the other vile, villainous villains before you have failed!”

Doctor Eviscerator’s head tipped back a bit as manic laughter erupted from his throat. “The Doomdrill is just the bait for my trap, my dear Agatha June!”

“No!”

“It worked on you. It won’t be long before Ace Goodheart, Dirk Daring, and your other friends are in my deplorable clutches as well!”

“NO!!”

“Doctor Eviscerator,” the voice of a nameless henchman came from a wall to the mad scientist’s left as a monitor flickered to life, “we’ve captured a member of G-Force!” At this, the rest of the lights in the laboratory came on.

Aggie strained to see the image on the screen. Behind the green-clad goon was Dirk Daring chained to a wall. His hands were shackled above his head. On the floor near his feet were his cable gun, a pile of feather shiruken, an AK-47 with a handful of ammunition magazines, an old-fashioned bazooka, two flame-throwers, a crossbow, a slingshot, a blowgun, three tomahawks, six spears, a broadsword, a Minuteman missile, and several other weapons she was sure even he’d forgotten he’d had on him.

“You won’t get away with this, Eviscerator!” Dirk growled defiantly.

The doctor chuckled as he strode over and deactivated the monitor. “Well, my dear,” he said as he moved over to a nearby workbench, “since HE’s here, your darling Ace can’t be too far behind!”

“What are you going to do, you devilish fiend?” Aggie asked, her voice shaking in spite of her attempt to sound brave.

Doctor Eviscerator retrieved a complicated, wand-like device from the workbench. “I’d say it’s time for a small demonstration of my ultimate weapon, my dear Agatha June!”

* * * * * *

Once again Ace silently vowed to bring the latest emissary of evil to justice as he crept along the dimly-lit, dank, deserted corridor.

But then his blood ran cold as Aggie’s shrieks and cries echoed along the walls.

“Hold on, sweet Aggie!” Ace cried, “I’ll rescue you from this vile, villainous villain!”

* * * * *

The mad scientist once again covered Aggie with the sheet before wiping away a tear on her cheek. “And so, my dear, it has begun!” he softly said to her.

“Stop right there, evil Doctor Eviscerator!” Ace shouted as soon as he stepped in the doorway of the laboratory.

“My hero.” Aggie sighed.

“Your plans won’t succeed, antagonistic fiend!” Ace continued, “You will pay for your misdeeds, the birds will sing, and the little children will once again play in the world’s playgrounds! Yes, your evil will be scrubbed off the world’s streets!”

Ace’s words came to a sudden stop – during his speech, he’d failed to notice the vile Doctor Eviscerator had escaped.

* * * * *

It had been nearly a month since the incident with the evil, vile Doctor Eviscerator, and sweet Agatha June seemed to have fared a bit poorly from it. Every day – sometimes several times a day – she would retreat to her room. And then her teammates would hear muffled cries and sighs escape the room.

Each day her teammates, sick with worry, would ask what could be grieving her so and offer any help they could possibly give. But she would politely reject their offers, saying she was fine.

And this time in her room ended as all the others: she carefully cleaned off the wand-like device she smuggled out of Doctor Eviscerator’s laboratory and remembered the first time she saw it.

The doctor held it before her, saying, “THIS is my ultimate weapon, not the silly Doomdrill! You see, I realized a long time ago that you would never be mine. So what could I do for revenge but ruin you for all other men in the world, especially that Ace Goodheart?” He pressed a button and then proceeded with his demonstration.

It had been nearly a month, and Aggie had barley begun to explore the features of the Doomdildo! (Though it was actually a vibrator.)
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