The Ultimate Bradbury Jar by Becky Rock
[Reviews - 2] - Table of Contents - [Report This]

Printer
- Text Size +

“…it was called the storm of the century and left over three million people without electricity. The fact the Carpenter family managed to survive in a cave after their car broke down…”

“…the quake was felt as far away as four hundred miles…” click

“…the woman was understandably pallid after her ordeal…” click

“…it never ceases to amaze me how the political parties blame each other for every misfortune…” click

“…the obstacle course includes the Splatter Zone…” etc.

“…Hook, if you dare harm a hair on her head…”

“…the report was interpreted as an overreaction to the situation…”

“…Spectra is known to lure the disenfranchised to their ranks through the promise of riches…”

“…the student’s confession that he had cheated on his college admittance exams…”

“…the four hundred million dollar lottery prize was won in Rhode Island…”

“…our website will get you the vest prices when you book your flight with us…”

“…Police were called to the scene when residences noticed suspicious behavior…”

“…the Bachelorette is looking for marriage, of course…”

“…Dr. McKean was a prisoner of his stalker for nearly five weeks before he escaped…”

“…the dude went berserk when he saw his wife with the other guy…”

“…negative, Doc. The patient isn’t responding to the adrenalin…”

“…this is sooooo awesome! We creamed them!...”

“…Let’s go on an escapade…”

“…I don’t get how those lights can hang like that. Aren’t they a hazard?...”

“…the larger tree roots entangle themselves with the smaller roots, strangling the smaller trees…”

“…come on, this isn’t fair! I should get a raise in my allowance…”

“…the bone marrow transplant should work for this patient…”

“…it’s always sad to find out your grandmother forgot your birthday…”

“…this is Headline News…”

“…the military hasn’t met their recruit quotas this year…”

“Keyop, get back here! You’d think it was torture to get you to take a shower!”

“…part of a triathlon is a marathon…”

“...we’re entitled to protection just like every other member of the Federation…”

“…she slipped, made a mistake. If she hadn’t, we’d never have caught her…”

“…it looks like we’re going to have rain for the next few days, heavy at times…”

“…he was only a baby when he started to use Legos to build elaborate things…”

“…it’s unbelievable how much the cell phone companies charge for data…”

“…anyone who drinks and drives is using poor judgment…”

“…it’s his rookie year. What do you expect? He’s going to make mistakes…”

“…Ms. Schneider has shown no regret for her actions, so I ask she be given the maximum sentence…”

 

Jason sighed deeply, continuing to press his thumb against the channel up button on the remote control.

 

“…everyone needs a second chance, Janet. Even the lowest criminal…”

“…the best cake mixes have pudding in them…”

“…you never know how you’re going to react to your fears until you’re on Fear Factor…”

“…colored diamonds are now the best gifts, so let me show you our grouping of this necklace…”

“…I just want to know why every time I want to see a movie I have to watch ten minutes of advertising…”

“…now back to One Hundred and One Dalmatians…”

“…the Joint Chiefs of Staff will be keeping track of the Spectran incursions into Zarkadian space…”

“…Stewart will be on the sideline while his Achilles tear heals…”

“…there are many films that use a doppelganger as an antagonist…”

“…I don’t want to spook him, but we’ve got to get our hands on that dog…”

“…Hancock was stripped of his license to practice law in the state of California…”

“…we have no proof of a rogue element within the government that wants to raise taxes…”

“…the man leaving money filled envelopes hidden all over the city wishes to remain anonymous…”

“…I had that son of a bitch by the scruff and he still kept fighting me…”

“…there is nothing that matches the wrath of a mistress scorned…”

“…the fire has consumed over 100 acres with no containment in sight yet…”

“…you expect baseball players to rearrange their crotch, but they should at least make sure they zipped up…”

“…the pilot was recovered following the crash of his fighter, lucky to just be battered…”

“…the Amber alert has been de-activated, as five year old Webster Hamills was found at a 7-11, having been left by his abductor…”

“…The Lion’s Den will no doubt be this summer’s best movie…”

 

Jason felt a pain in his sprained ankle. He shifted his position in the recliner and continued surfing.

 

“…Notre Dame lost forty-two to thirty-five to the Miami Hurricanes…”

“…how did this become such a mess…”

“…the confusion came about because the Global Relief Agency didn’t get clearance from Muir before arriving…”

“… all boxers are bitter enemies…”

“…the sense of betrayal I had when Will voted me off the island was overwhelming…”

 

BOOM!!!!

 

Jason nearly jumped out of the recliner before he heard a distinctive feminine laugh and a teenaged boy’s high-pitched squeal.

 

“Next time, get the shower!” Princess ordered.

 

“Jesus, Princess! Warn a guy next time!” Jason shouted.

 

“Get over it!” she shouted back. Jason grumbled back as he returned to surfing.

 

“…I want an eyeball tattoo on the back of my head…”

“…our current interest rate is two points above the prime…”

“…this landscape painting is very unique since the predominate color is yellow…”

“…look out, Johnny! It’s Clobberin’ Time…”

“…this new drug has promise in the area of memory retention…”

 

“What ya doin’?”

 

Jason turned to see Tiny coming into the recreation room, a large sandwich in his hand, his mouth working on his first bite. Jason sighed. All he wanted was some privacy to be miserable for a while.

 

“Surfing,” he responded the obvious, his thumb working again. The next channel was showing the most recent Star Trek movie.

 

“Hey, I love that movie” click “Why’d you change the channel?” Tiny demanded.

 

“I’ve already seen that movie a thousand times thanks to you and Keyop,” Jason retorted. The next channel was one of the Shop Until You’re Broke channels. He kept going.

 

Tiny grumbled and left the room.

 

“…the fire has a burn rate of ten acres and hour…”

“…these aren’t tears of sadness; they’re happy tears because he’s in Heaven…”

“…the Earth cannot hold out forever…”

 

Jason made a suggestion to Zoltar that might not have been anatomically possible then changed the channel.

 

“…the players were chosen at random to create two equal teams…”

“…whoever gets the entire bracket correct will receive one million dollars…”

“…I used to be a Playboy Bunny, but decided to go back to school to get my medial degree …”

 

Jason admired the busty brunette for a moment, wishing she could be his doctor. Maybe he could get an undercover mission to the medical school she was attending.

 

Movement behind the TV caught his attention. There was a fly on the wall to the left of the TV. It was the fly’s last mistake. He pulled a shuriken from the hidden sheath in his pants and threw it.

 

“…it was sheer madness for the Red Rangers to try that maneuver, but he had the talent to pull it off…”

“…since the clinical trial failed, we’ll have to start at square one on this cure…”

“…the Fantasy Football League allows you to make a wager that won’t break your bank…”

 

How many channels had he gone through? Jason’s frustration was mounting.

 

“…the Almanac is predicting a colder than normal winter…”

“…in the Beginning, there was light…”

“…the college students had stolen over five thousand Slippery When Wet signs…”

“…I was really looking forward to going to Tinsel Town…”

“…it was clear as the investigation continued Mr. Farley had a lot of secrets…”

“…in this episode, the Cake Masters will be making cakes that look like body parts…”

 

“Ewwww,” Jason muttered as they showed one of the cakes. What had they been watching? A zombie movie?

 

“…Truth or Consequences was a very popular show…”

“…the mirror they chose was totally out of character for the room…”

“…treachery abounded in the old west…”

“…the Service for comedian Joan Rivers was moving, as many of Hollywood’s finest eulogized her…”

“…it’s really not that unusual for fireworks’ businesses in China to explode due to a lack of safety regulations…”

“…it’s a new recipe for pumpkin pie that has been taking the world by storm…”

“…Party! Party! Party!...”

“…the experiment resulted in a rejection of the hypothesis the treasure was visible in the moonlight…”

“…the gesture of unity made by the women exposing themselves to anyone walking by resulting in their arrests for indecent exposure…”

 

Jason then came across the movie Star Trek Nemesis. He groaned. “What is this? Star Trek day?” he complained to the empty room. He’d been asking the Chief to get Amazon Prime so they could stream movies. It was now becoming a yearning.

 

Then he was flabbergasted by a commercial for Gatchachibis, a rip-off of the G-Force team, using the G in the team name. He only hoped Princess didn’t see them. In seconds, she’d be ordering them.

 

Keyop trotted in, his hair still wet from Princess’ enforced shower, going for the refrigerator. He pulled out pizza leftovers in foil. As Jason started flipping channels again, Keyop placed the pieces on a place to heat them in the microwave.

 

Two other channels were showing Journey to the Center of the Earth, the old version, and The Gift, a version of the story the Gift of the Magi.

 

“…freedom is not free…”

 

Jason could smell Keyop’s food and his mouth watered. “Hey, squirt. How much pizza is left?” he asked.

 

“This is it and I’m not sharing.” Keyop ran with the pizza before Jason could reach his shuriken.

 

“…I am his father and I will decide when he gets his license…”

“…I have set boundaries and you keep breaking them!...”

“…Damn! Them feathers was all she was wearin’…”

“…this week only, the Surf and Turf with desert is only $19.99 per person…” 

“…I’m not kidding! Instead of night crawlers, we used gummy worms…”

“…Mother’s Day is coming up and tradition calls for children to give their mother’s a gift…”

“…this is your last chance to get Disney’s Sleeping Beauty on Blue Ray…”

“…aren’t you tired of all this speed dating? eHarmony is your answer…”

 

Jason reached up to rub his right eye. Galaxy Security agents were prohibited from the site for safety reasons. It was known Spectran agents were always checking it out.

 

“…Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy…”

“…It’s not ‘You keep me dragon on.’ It’s ‘You keep me hanging on’…”

“…Ebola has made over 2500 people sick in this most recent outbreak. The bodies of the dead are being cremated to try to protect those not infected…”

“…he made us promise to play ‘Guns and Roses’ at his funeral…”

“…any married woman who reads romance novels is missing something in her marriage…”

“…The Dawn of the Dead is still one of the best horror movies ever made…”

“…eat my dust, you lame excuse for a running back…”

“…some school jurisdictions are instructing children regarding the birds and the bees much too young…”

“…children are meant to get dirty. They need exposure to germs to develop antibodies against the…”

“…you can’t promote people based on their potential. They have to prove they have the capability of doing the job first…”

 

“What are you doing?” Jason sighed as he turned to see Mark standing in the doorway, his jacket in his hands.

 

“How many channels do we have?” he asked.

 

Mark frowned. “Three hundred or so I thought. Why?”

 

“Because I just surfed through over half of them and can’t find anything to watch,” Jason complained.

 

Mark chuckled. “That’s why Tiny and Keyop play video games. Keep going. You’ll find something.” He turned to walk away. Jason turned back to the television. This thumb was getting sore.

 

“…the game was delayed for over two hours due to storms, but now we have the kick-off of the Notre Dame and Purdue football game…”

 

“Finally,” Jason muttered, placing the remote down on the end table beside the couch. He settled back into the couch to enjoy some mindless entertainment…
~ Table of Contents ~
[Report This]
You must login (register) to review.