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The Twelve Days of Gatch-mas by Ennien
The Twelve Days of Gatch-mas by Ennien
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The Twelve Days of Gatch-mas by Ennien Ashbrook

 

 

Right, okay.. Is that the right key? Yes? Good.. okay, here goes.. "On the First Day of Christmas, my ninjas gave to me.. A Condor in a pear tree."

 

Condor?? Why the Condor?

Why not the Condor?

How come he gets to be in the tree?

Cuz you're already out of your tree.

Shut up, Katze! Who asked you, anyways..

Can I do my verse now???

Right, right...

"On the second day of Christmas, Ha-ka-se gave to me...two nifty guns, and a Condor in a pear tree". That doesn't work, I'm in my own tree?

Alright, alright, I'll change the verse..

"On the third day of Christmas, my Eagle gave to me...three yo-yo bombs, two nifty guns and a.." Hakase, 'and a' what?

I dunno, a Phoenix..

"A Phoenix in a pear tree"

Yo-yo bombs, Swan?

I couldn't think of anything else...

"On the fourth day of Christmas, Ha-ka-se gave to me...four disks of Doom, three yo-yo bombs, two nifty guns, and a Phoenix in a pear tree."

Swallow, you are not getting Doom for Christmas!

Awwww.....

Your turn..

"On the fifth day of Christmas, my Sosai gave to me..." This is useless, he never gives me anything!!

Nothing?

Well, I get shit on regularly...

"Fiiiiiive pounds of shiiiiiit!"

Swallow!!! Watch your language!

More like tonnes, actually....

"On the sixth day of Christmas, my Katse gave to me.. six more excuses.."

Oh, bugger off...

"..Five tonnes of shit, four disks of doon, three new bombs, two nifty guns and a Phoenix in a pear tree"

It's 'yo-yo bombs'.

Picky, picky, picky..

"On the seventh day of Christmas, my teammates gave to me.. seven more reasons why I should sit on my butt back at the God Phoenix instead of doing stuff and feeling useful!"

Sorry, Owl..

That's a lot to sing..

Can't we cut it down a little?

NEXT VERSE, PEOPLE!

Isn't the woman captain supposed to be here?

..UH..

"On the eighth day of Christmas, my Condor gave to me.. Eight Galactors dancing.."

Dancing Galactors?

I couldn't think of anything else they could do... Well, nothing printable..

Eight Galactors Galactating?

Funny, Swan, stick to your yo-yos...

Where'd Katze go?

HE UH.. WENT FOR SOME EGGNOG!

Eggnog! Hope he brings me some..

Uh, hi.. sorry I'm late..uh... got stuck in traffic..

Oh there you are.. We were wondering what happened to you.

What number are we on?

Oh geez, I've lost count.

"On the eleventh day of Christmas, my leader gave to me...eleven cans of Spam.."

Spam???

Berg Katze gives Spam?

Spam, Spam, Spam, Earth and Spam...

"..and a Phoenix in a pear tree..." I'm sorry, I think we missed nine and ten.. I had to improvise..

Oh shit, I wasn't listening..

Eagle!

Where's Katze, isn't he supposed to do the twelfth verse?

Right, I'll just go find him....

Tell him the Condor wants an eggnog too!

Sosai, where the fuck am I supposed to get eggnog???

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT EGGNOG IS, YOU STUPID MOO!

Huh? What's that?

SORRY, SORRY.. JUST TELLING HER WHERE TO FIND KATZE....

I hope he didn't spike it with anything.. like cyanide.

Hope we're not all in a hurry.. Some schmuck parked his car too close to the corner and it got wiped out by a semi in a skid.

To... what corner?

The one a few blocks down from the interchange turnoff... Why? Too bad about the car, nice racing jobby...

MY CAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh dear, was that the G-2?

Emphasis on 'was'?

Oh definitely.

You do have a way with words, Katze...

That car cost the ISO thousands..

Yeah, but Hakase, they expect the vehicles are going to get totalled on occasion..

While fighting Galactor, NOT because the Condor doesn't know how to park!

I think our song is screwed.

Swallow!

Katze, get that smirk off your face...

I didn't say nuthin'...

You didn't have to.

..my car is wrecked.... gone! gone! totalled! my beautiful car....

I hate it when men cry..

Cuz they look so unmanly, Swan?

No, because <<snirrrk>> Ugh, because of that! They wipe their noses with their sleeves instead of using a tissue!

No sense of hygiene...

LOOK, WE HAVE A WORLD TO CONQUER, SO..

..i want my caa--a-aaaa-rrr.....

GIVE ME THE EARTH AND I GIVE YOU A NEW CAR.

Sounds fair to me. Nambu-hakase?

Swan, I'm going with Katze, he says he's got 47 levels of Doom

I think we should call this whole thing off..

Feltching through the snow...

EEEEEWWW!! Katze, that's gross!

What's 'feltching'?

You don't want to know
You don't want to know
YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW

What don't I want to know?

Sorry, I just like the word...

You would!

The word, Condor! Just the word!

What's it mean?

Forget it, Eagle.. I hope you realize he's going to be pestering me about it for weeks??

All the better to torture you with, my dear!

Alright, alright, alright! Let's break this up and try it again next year. And Condor, learn to park!!

I STILL DON'T GET THIS 'CHRISTMAS' CUSTOM..

Somehow, Sosai-sama, that doesn't surprise me...

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