Reviewer: ElectricWhite Signed
Chapter 1: Chapter 1
I thought you did a fine job of delving into the turmoil Ken must have been feeling. However, I could tell you were holding back when it came to the interaction between Ken and the other teammates. Don't be afraid to let the story take you where it needs to go. And if you're not sure about a subject being explored, give the story an "Adult" rating and trust in the other members of this group to let you know if anything needs to be adjusted. This story hasn't reached its potential yet, and I hope to read more.
Hmmm, it's possible I was over-focused on Ken and Joe (for some reason they're the ones who really pull at me), and/or on sticking really close to the Jigokillers episodes. Something to ponder! This is the first in a 3-part series, though it's the last one that came to mind, spurred by the Romance prompt. Would like a 2nd beta on the next part before posting it. Thanks for your comments. :)
I didn't think this one in particular needed an Adult rating, but the next 2 definitely will for a variety of reasons.