I enjoyed this a lot. I like the concept of Jason doing something physical (and useful) instead of meditation, and there are lots of nice little touches, such as Tiny and Keyop leaving wrappers in his car, and it not having as many seats to clean when transmuted. And that he thinks being picked up must be like flying...but actually he prefers driving.

Just a couple of little nitpicks - I don't get a clear  sense of the location. I feel like I want it to be somewhere out in the middle of nowhere, no houses, no people, but then there's this convenient water supply which makes it sound much less deserted.

And if he was practicing marksmanship he wouldn't be shooting at cans and bottles. For a bit of fun, sure. But they're simply far too big to be useful, serious practice for a crack shot.

But I'm nitpicking. This is excellently presented, technically flawless as far as I can see, and well paced.

Nice one.

This is fun and well-written (especially so since I think your first language isn't English?). I like that your characters are started to doubt one another and that the evidence entirely plausibly points to Jason.No snap judgements and random swings in character here, which is great.

But I am struggling with the very short chapters. I've just barely got back into the story and it's over, and there's another request to review. You're asking for reviews every 500 words. I find that's simply not long enough to form an opinion.

I promise you a full review when the story's finished...and I suspect this is why you're not getting many at the moment.

Howling at the extra towers holding pictures, and "sketches of abstract stick figures" - I guess your artistic talent is somewhere near mine :)

Okay, where's chapter 2 - I want to know what the solution is...

I love this story! You've managed to simultaneously make Mark sympathetic while he's behaving like a complete and utter entitled jerk. It must be difficult for him. He's used to getting everything he wants, and to that being OK because what he wants is to protect other people. Now suddenly that isn't his motive so he's absolutely not entitled to get what he wants any more.

What Mark needs is someone who won't put up with any of this entitled BS and who has better things to do than wait around until he's ready to give her attention. Any chance of there being a female Red Ranger pilot out there...?

And poor old Jason, still hurting after all this time, and unable to even hit someone without doing himself major damage :(

Great idea! Really creepy in places, and I love that they're called Ace and Dirk :)

Author's Response: As I agonized over character names, it suddenly hit me that those were perfectly cheesy. :)

I LOVED this. Nice twist, having Mark not selected because of who he is, but really wanting to be. And not having him and Jason at daggers drawn all the time. And that's a very clever retcon having Keyop as older than he looks/is because he's not quite human. And I do like that you haven't gone for Anderson as single father of five - not that it's wrong, but it's good to see people do something different.

There's a followup, right? Where we learn why Isabelle isn't part of canon?

I only had one qualm and it's really minor and nitpicky - a lot of the scenes with four year old Mark sounded like a much younger child to me. There's a lot of carrying going on. I know he's had tragedy in his life, and I can buy handholding and hugs, but I don't know a four year old boy who'd be seen dead being carried.

Beautifully written, smooth, easy read, completely plausible different take on things. Loved it. Want more.

My brain has now officially exploded.

I misread it first time and thought he was doing sheepdog trials, which was pretty bizarre, but not as bizarre as what he was really doing!

Howling with  laughter here.

Remarkably restrained of Jay...

...and what useful information did someone think they'd get from a psych eval of someone doped to the eyeballs?

Bets that the person in the chain of command who authorised it is unfindable?

Liking this a lot. Falling Skies is definitely one of the creepier sci-fi shows out there at the moment.

"I know things we can't afford for those bastards to learn." Brrr.

Oh wow, a lovely early Christmas present!

Much enjoyed this. I like Al Jones a lot and this was a very plausible tale of how she gets involved with Anderson.

Loved Jason critiquing Tiny's piloting strategies and complaining about seatbelts (I guess they get fitted as a result of his complaints :). And Action Anderson. And, well all of it really!