Dear Princess:

Another day apart.  I hate this.  I miss you so much.  I'm sitting here, heartbroken, remembering when it all began ...

Right before the war started, the Chief hauled us into his office, said he'd heard some rumors.  We hemmed and hawed the way teenagers do about such things, but he saw right through our denials.  We had to promise not to fraternize; we're in the same chain-of-command, after all.  This is war and there's simply no option to move either of us to another unit.  We're G-Force, the highest military defense team in the galaxy.  We've sworn our lives to protect every planet under the Alliance.  It's our highest calling in life, he said.

So, on the brink of that first Spectran attack, we promised Chief Anderson that we would no longer date while we served under the Federation as G-Force officers.  But that night, we made a more important promise, the one that tied our souls together.  Bathed in luminous moonlight, under a grove of barren oak trees, we vowed that we would remain loyal to each other no matter the circumstances, that we would be together forever once this endless, godforsaken war is over.  I cling to that memory like a lifeline, the first and only time that we've made love.

It's so hard watching you go into battle.  My stomach drops every time we get called out.  This could be it, my heart screams, the last time that I see you alive!  I always take a deep breath to calm myself before each mission.  Sometimes, you notice and smile that crooked little grin - the one you save just for me, the one that makes your nose crinkle and your eyes light up.  Then I relax and remember that one day, we'll be together.  One day, I can make you my own.  Until then, I have to wait for the end of the war.  As if I needed another reason to hate Zoltar.

Watching you flirt with Mark is damn near impossible.  I know why you're doing it, but it doesn't make it any easier.  He's a safe target for your affections.  Mark's insecure around women to begin with and he's so wrapped up in duty that he'd never act on his feelings even if he allowed himself to have any.  Frankly, the poor guy needs the ego boost.  Mark's self-esteem took an awful beat down from that Rat Fink father of his.  When you turn on the charm, he lights up like a Roman candle, full of arrogance and bravado.  Mark makes his best decisions when he thinks he's king of the world.  Keeping him on that pedestal is the key to us winning this war, I realize that.  But even understanding why you're doing it, why it matters, is so hard to swallow.

Speaking of swallows ... Keyop would have a fit if he knew the truth about us.  He's got his little heart set on an Eagle-Swan pairing.  He can ramble on for hours about how to get you and Mark together.  Hell, I even make suggestions sometimes.  I'm such a hypocrite.  But I know it's important to keep up the facade; we can't risk anyone knowing the truth.  So I play the game, acting casual, acting disinterested, while my heart screams on the inside.

Only Jason knows something's up.  He caught me staring at you one time and when you winked back at me, his eyebrows shot up like rockets.  "So that's why Mark always keeps you on the ship!" he said, laughing.  Maybe he's right, maybe Mark knows more about our relationship than he lets on.  In the meantime, I'm forced to sit here on the bridge, like I do every mission, and pray for your safe return.

I long for the day when you'll come back to me for good, when we can drop the pretense and finally fulfill our promise to live our lives as one.  Until then, my love, I'm stuck pining away for you in this journal.

Love always,
Tiny