Mall Madness by Lionesse
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"Whew! That was an earful! Why does Hakase talk so much about nothing?!"

"Joe, you know he had to debrief us on our latest mission. You should know that by now."

"I'd rather be debriefed by a lady!"

"Joe! Not in front of the kid!"


"Yeah, whatever, Joe." Ken replied as he glanced around. Ryu, Jinpei, and Jun had already left for the Snack J. "Hey, Joe, you up for a little shopping?"


"No! Is THAT always in control of your body and mind! Geesh! Anyway, Jun's birthday is coming up and since we didn't give a time we'd be meeting at the Snack J..."

"Sounds good. What do you have in mind and I'm not buying it all am I?!"

"No, you're not buying it all! I saved up for this occasion. We can buy separate or pool together for an even nicer,pricier gift."

"You mean I pay 80% and you pay 20% right?"

"Joe, it's NOT going to be like that this time!"

"Yeah, sure. Anyway, where should we go?"

"How about that new shopping mall? There's a ton of options for gifts all neatly located in one large building."

"Babes too!" Joe muttered.

"Huh? What was that?"

"Take G-2?"

"Uh...well, I really don't think you'd like to sit on my lap in the Cessna. Besides I doubt they'd let me hog six spaces!"

"No style either. Let's get out of here before Hakase thinks up another lecture and realizes we're still here."

"Wow Joe! That had to be a mouthful for you!"

"Don't go there Ken."

"Okay, okay. Uh...can I drive?"


"At the rate you're going..."

"Don't get your hopes up, flyboy!"


Later, at the mall entrance...

"K'so! This place is packed! We're never going to find a place to park!"

"Joe, there! There's a space!"

"It's in the sun, man! This'll fade the upholestry!"

"Just park and stop whining."


"Stop swearing too."



"Blow me Ken."


As they exited the G-2, a busload of cheerleaders stepped out of their bus. Joe's and yes, even Ken's mouth gaped as they followed them into the mall. Both snapped out of it and quickly departed once they realized that it was a high school squad.

"Too young, but I'm liking this place already." Joe muttered.

"You would." Ken replied as he scanned the area, taking in the mall's size.

"So where to Ken?"


"Great choice mighty leader! Hey, there! Victoria's Secret! Let's check there!"

Ken peered inside and winced. "Uh,no Joe, I don't think there'll be any appropriate gifts in there."

"Maybe not to you, but I'm sure Jun'd agree with me. C'mon, we're going in." Joe said as he grabbed Ken's wrist and dragged him in.

As they entered, they were greeted by an associate.

"May I help you?" she asked as she eyed their held hands then Ken's embarrassed flush. Joe had forgotten that he still had a hold of Ken to keep him from escaping.

"Uh, it's not what you think. We have a close female friend who is about to celebrate a birthday. BugleBoy here is just uncomfortable in these type stores. You know...the shy, naive, STUPID type."

She gave Ken a gentle smile and ran her eyes up and down him. *Strange one as attractive as he would be 'that type' but oh well.* she thought. "I see." she answered aloud. "My name is Shana. Let me know if you require any assistance."

"Thank you Shana." Joe politely replied as Ken kicked him in the shin.


Joe looked around and glanced upon a cute, royal blue satin teddy. Dragging a protesting, muttering Ken with him, he strode over to it. He noted it had a matching bikini thong for the male. He pulled it off the rack and tossed it to a stunned Ken, who hadn't wandered away just yet considering Joe had finally let go of his arm.

Ken instinctively caught the flying object with the grace of the eagle that he was. He wasn't entirely sure what he caught as he tried to untangle it. Joe couldn't help but laugh. This boy was extremely naive.

"It's a thong Ken."

"Isn't that a type of shoe?" Ken muttered while still trying to figure out exactly how it went and was completely baffled.

"It's underwear you stupid idiot! Skinny part goes in the rear!"

Ken finally figured it out. "Now why the heck would anyone wear this? Major wedgy and no practical purpose."

"Because you dolt, it turns the ladies on!"

Ken tossed it back. "No way Joe! I'd never---"

"I know." Joe muttered. Strike one for Jun. He couldn't believe Ken would wear the BirdStyle in public which was body conforming yet had a problem with an article of clothing meant only for under the clothes and private use. *It must be torture for Jun to see Ken in BirdStyle. He's a tease and he doesn't even know it* he thought. He knew the two had feelings for each other, but Ken was too anal and duty-bound to pursue her.

Suddenly their wristbands went off. Gallactor was raising hell again.

"K'so!" was Joe's only reply as he and Ken quickly departed for the nearest mall exit.
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