Sparrows over the Rainbow
"oohh..........Baka hatsu ketsu shido! Koko wa doko wa tashi wa dare!" Jinpei shook his head as he tried to clear the spinning from his brain. Last night he could have swore the house SNACK and all, was flying!
As he looked around, Jinpei suddenly stared in shock at the boy lying on his bed room floor. The worst thing was, he looked just like him!
"Arrrp...what happened." The boy asked looking about the room and scrambling to a corner when his eyes met Jinpei's.
"Nandyo? Sumimasen,Hajimemashite.... and what the hell are you doing in my room!" Jinpei said with crossed arms.
"Bradapeep Your room? Arrrr ree toot my room. Boop bort wait a minute zip bing your ......"
"Yeah, I'm Jinpei from the orriginal series. You must be that clone ,Keyop."
Suddenly, both of them turned towards the room door as Pee Wee thundered in wet. covered in soap, and a bit angry. "Who's the jerk who shut off the water! Boy..I'll kick his face in!"
Jinpei almost laughed. "You must be from Turnerville. By the way, I see your voice hasn't cracked yet."
"Shut up Jumpie!" came the reply. Keyop cross his arms and smirked. "Brrrr reep I think radaboop you should get dressed?" Pee Wee stormed out of the room still yelling up a storm.
Jinpei wasn't doing so hot. This had to be a stupid nightmare, "Rotten Sushi! etai! My heads gonna explode!" He said as he held and pulled at his hair.
"Aye! anybody here! One minute I'm pokin roos the next minute I'm staring at myself in the buff!"
Mickey Dougan confidently walked into Jinpei's room and placed a foot atop a chair. "Well,well, looks like the other blokes been pulled from the boonies as well."
Jinpei made more smirks from his controted face. "You must be the Austrailian verson of me? Sabin right?"
"Yep, Kept the ausie pinch cause it's a bitchen language. I hate being redubbed!"
Now the last Jinpei walked in, banging his basket ball off the walls of the room.
"Will you stop that! ^&^* I need some #$@# aspirin!" Jinpei orriginal said as the OAV Jinpei sat on the floor and placed his hands behind his back.
"Hi old man....arthritis getting to you? Jinpei 94 said with a smile.
"If you don't shut up, my clackers will get too you! $^&$!! MY FREEKING HEAD!"
Mickey shook his head with the others following in reply. " I don't know what's flyin boys, but I think were in a roodeedoo here."
*****
"Ulp!"Keyop made a noise as he slammed the front door of the SNACK J as the remaining Jinpei's joined him and watched his horrified look.
"What's up bloke?" Mickey asked. Keyop cracked the door again and quickly shut it again! His face became wildly contorted.
"Arrrr reet bort We're screwed! He said as Pee Wee smirked at him. "Princess would kill you for swearing!"
"Shut up Pee Wee, and act your cartoon age insted of your voice age for once will you!" Jinpei orriginal said with a frown. They would have gone to blows if Jinpei 94 and Mickey hadn't grabbed them.
"Keyop, open the door." Jinpei 94 said with a smile.
As the door opened, all the Jinpeis stood in collective, if not insane induced shock. There before them lay the kalidoscope technicolor Muchkin city in all it's wild beauty. The effect was as expected from each Jinpei........ Jinpei Orriginal: "Freekin Woodstock! Keyop: "Arrr beep boop Wild! Pee Wee: Chucky Cheese!! Mickey: Good aborigine drugs! OVA: I can handle this!
They moved out slowly, wandering around the SNACK with weird fascination at this new wild world before them. It was Pee Wee who tripped over the pair of feet stuck grewsomly under the house! Each Jinpei responded in sarcastic cander......... Jinpei Orriginal: Oh man...Buku Gomen money! Keyop: Deep boot Killed a jaywalker! PeeWee: Quick, hide! Mickey: Poor bloke, rotten luck. OAV: Is there a doctor in the house?
Suddenly, little people began to emerge from their houses and hiding places. All but OAV Jinpei produced their clackers and spun them furiously in instant fear........ Jinpei Orriginal: "Ow shit, we've pissed off the local help! Keyop: " Spectra deep bort suicide squards! PeeWee: they look like kids! Mickey: They ain't kangies! OAV: put the clackers away dudes, ain't you ever seen the Wizzard of OZ before!
"Greetings!" Said a short, sharply dressed fellow as he walked up to the Jinpeis.
OAV grabbed the Orriginal Jinpei by his shirt. "Do the talking old man, your the oldest here!"
"Will you shut up with the old crap!" Jinpei said with an angry face. " God what a punk." He said as he walked forward to meet the Munchkin mayor.
"Live long and prosper." He said holding the Vulcan greeting as the others rocked back and moaned. "Just our luck, old dudes a treker!" Said OAV as the others agreed with equal knods.
"Welcome to OZ! You have saved us from the wicked witch who has kept us in slavery for ages! I salute you sir!" The mayor said as he removed his hat and tried to kiss Jinpei's hand.
"Nandyo Okama!" Jinpei said with a slight frown as he pulled his hand away.
"Jinpei, Relax." The OAV said. "Don't go making these people angry."
Jinpei turned back towards the feet stuck under the house. "No problem. We didn't think we'd smack her with our house though. We usualy prefer the more honorable way. Letting em fight before we total kick their ass!"
The other Jinpei's reacted with rolling fist, hoots, and oots before quickly resuming awkward stances of semi-normalcy.
"Well..." said the mayor. "Maybe you could do...the...same....TO HER!" he pointed rapidly to the sudden apearance of.......guess who!
*****
"AYYYYYYYLLLLLL GET YOU MY PRITTY! AND YOUR LITTLE DOG TOTO TOO!!" Said the rather ugly looking witch as she shook her broom before the collective Jinpei's who stared at her as if she'd lost her mables.......
Jinpei Orriginal: Wow! It's Jethro Tull! Keyop: Zoot Bring Don't have a dog Boing Pee Wee: You sure it's not Michael Jackson? Mickey: The dreaded drop bear! AARGHHH! OAV: My Primary school math teacher!!!
"Excuse me." The orriginal Jinpei said with a smirk. "I hope your not looking for a fight. You see, I'm the great swallow Jinpei and you wouldn't want me to....kick...your..ass!"
The other Jinpei's quickly resume hooting and fist circles then rapidly return to states of demented normalcy.
The wicked witch was not amused. With one wave of her broom she sent Jinpei flying through the air and crashing into the house. The other Jinpei's quickly looked "loony toon style" at the witch......
Keyop: Oops.... Pee Wee: Holy shoot! Mickey: Sheet! OAV: Son of a bitch!
Jinpei sat holding his head again. "Ok guys, Kick her ass three ways to Sunday!"
The Jinpei's didn't move. "We can't mate." Mickey said with a frown. " It's too early in the fan fic to do that. Besides, the orriginal movie didn't have any fight scenes remember?" OAV said as he leaned on Pee Wee.
The witch walked up to look at the feet of her very dead and squashed sister. "Who did it! Who killed my sister the wicked witch of the East!
The collective Jinpei's quickly tried to pin the blame on each other. But Orriginal Jinpei batted their heads and they batted his head and soon they all batted each others heads and the witch wasn't amused....she sent all of them flying into various modes of crash!
Keyop stood up from crashing through the roof of a munchkin house and yelled at the witch. " ARREET BOOT OUR HOUSE BEET NAILED YOUR BADABEEP STUPID SISTER!" In turn, Mickey stood up and said, "Aw forget the fan fic writer blokes! Let's kick this old harpies duff!"
But the Fan fic writer wasn't about to let this thing get out of control so he sends in Priscilla Presley as the good witch Glinda, which is certain to send the Jinpei's into collective adolesent induced shock indeed!
The sight of Glinda forces collective tounge hanging maddness from the Jinpei's. Keyop especialy goes wild, his face contorting as if he'd seen Julie Lesslie again from his space bubble! The OAV Jinpei however, being made in a more conserved fashion quickly restores calm to his wired up alternates.
*****
"Hello, my but you boys certainly need a little help don't you?" Glinda (Prisilla Presley) said with a warm smile that sent all the Jinpei's melting to the ground........ Orriginal: Ulmmm......Kami-chan Keyop: Arrrrrr YA HOO! Beep bort I'm in love! PeeWee: Girls...yuck! Mickey: Did anyone tell ya I'm related to Mick Dundee? OAV: You guys are sad.....
OAV Jinpei aproached the beautifull and good witch of the North and Kissed her hand. " Forgive me for knowing the story allready miss, but can we just tap the shoes three times and get out of this mess?"
"Oh no." said Glinda (Prisillia Presley does look good with a tummy tuck now a days) "You see...that would not serve the fan fic writer's designs at all. I'm sorry."
"So....." Jinpei orriginal said as he too walked up and kissed the Good witch's hand. "What are these designs?"
"To make you all suffer of course." She said as the Jinpei's looked with realy angry faces at the Fan fic writer......
Orriginal: Son of a bitch! Keyop: Radabeep Evil jerk! PeeWee: what a rotten creep! Mickey: Your goin ta hell for this Jim boy! OAV: Self centered LAHOOOSER!!!!
"Just for that, the fan fic writer shall chose one of you to wear......... the rubby slippers!"
OAV Jinpei curled his lips in sarcasm..... "Look mr. writer, sick at that, those are girl's shoes! You can't make us wear those things!
"Wana bet?........." said the evil writer with a snicker.......
"You wouldn't dare...you haven't got the...."
"poof" In place of the OAV Jinpei, now Julie Lesslie enters the show. wearing the shoes!
"Now...." The evil writer said with a grin. "If you promise to behave and trust me OAV, I'll gladly change you back with a nice set of red reboks as a gift...if not...I hope you can dodge Keyop for fourty days and fouty nights!"
"AHH....HAH....HAH......HAH!!!........... I'm soooooo deviously crazy!!!
"Get off me you turbocharged lunitic!" OAV said as he threw Keyop into a rose bush patch, much to his dismay.
"Say your sorry Jinpei so we can get on with this stuff!" Pee Wee said as turned to the Fan Fic writer with folded hands, "Please...we're realy sorry. Change him back?"
"Very well......your the smart one Pee Wee."
"POOF!" OAV came back with a very excellent set of Reboks on his feet.
"Now all of you...see the yellow brick road? HAUL ASS BEFORE I CHANGE MY MIND!"
The collective Jinpei's ran helter skelter out of munchkin land leaving the Fan Fic writer alone to hold stratigy meeting with the wicked witch and suck down more coffiee for the next stage of lunicy......
*****
"Hey! Mister fan fic writer?" Pee Wee yelled as the five Jinpei's continued down the yellow brick, recently changed to blue, road. "Can we just skip some parts and speed this up?"
"No!" Said the fan fic writer grinning. "You guys have to meet only one of the orriginal characters from the orriginal show. But... he's not orriginal at all...
Keyop snorted. "Oh yeah, brapa beep What are beep bort you planing?"
"Give me about one minute. Keep walking boys."
The Jinpei's followed the path untill Keyop stopped cold in his tracks. For a moment..... he thought he heard a familliar flapping.....
"What's wrong Keyop?" OAV Jinpei asked. Keyop motioned them to walk forwards again. Then he stopped again as a familliar voice began to sing out.......
"I could wile away the hours, conferin with the flowers, consulting with the rain.........."
Keyop's jaw dropped...."Noooo" Jinpei Orriginal cocked his head....Shit! PeeWee slapped his head...."He wouldn't" OAV Jinpei covered his ears....He did.... Mickey clenched his fist...let me kill it!
Coming down the path, dressed like the tin man, with his metal dog in tow.....7 Zark 7 swayed from side to side in rythum with the music.
"No! nothing is worth this torture! Someone put me out of my misery!" Orriginal Jinpei raved about as the others stood perplexed at the sight.....
"Hi fellas! It's me your faithfull Co-Ordinator 7 Zark 7, now relax...all is just perfectly swell.
Jinpei Orriginal turned from his frustration. "I''m gonna blow this tin can to hell!" He would
have had the others not tackled him in mid
stride.
"Look Jinpei, we gotta hang with this stuff till we get outa here! Don't go makin ol fan fic writer any more crazy than he is!" Mickey said as the Jinpei's tried to reason with this sudden further slide into insanity.
"Beep bada boop Turn around Zark. Bing rata zip Let's speed this up!"
As Zark turned around, the song follow the yellow brick road echoed from his posoreaostat relay (or whatever that thing was) which caused the Jinpei's to look collectively at the Fan Fic writer.....
"No way." Pee Wee said shaking his head.
"Yes way." said the evil writer..."Dance boys!"
"Your daft!" said Mickey with a frown...
"Dance or I'll bring more 7 Zark 7's into this mess!"
All the Jinpei's began to skip down the road.
"This is so fricken wonderfull!" Said orriginal Jinpei as they vanished over the horizen....
*****
(Yes, JIMPS greater half of his poluted brain has decided to keep this going in the hopes that somehow, he can come back to reality)
..........Don't bet on it!
Ah yes, our intrepid band (flock actualy) of Jinpei's made rather good progress ( since the evil fan fic writer took a break) and now stood at the edge of the famous field of flowers that stretched before the big (Rather fake obviously) Emerald City (Detroit Michigan but who's realy looking)
The Jinpei's were amazed......
Orriginal: B.S. we are! Keyop: Bada beep Yup zip bort it's a painting! PeeWee: Get real! Mickey: Sidney!! I see Sidney!! OAV: popies? Must be Thiland!
Of course, they all knew what was going to happen next............
Orriginal: "Yawn" boof! Snoar! Keyop: Ulmm......beep feel arrr dizzzzzz....boof! PeeWee: I'm not taking a naa........boof! Mickey: I'm amune...Bonk...boof....zzzzzzzz OAV: Oh well........zzzzzzzzzzz
Zark couldn't beleave it! "This can't be happening! Boys. boys? Oh no...I'm not in control! I don't have my monitors! Suzan!!!"
"HEEELLLLLLLPPPP!" Zark shouted loudly
and the evil fan fic writer responded. "Zark? Get your head together! This is your big chance to do some serious ass kicking for once in your useless electric life!"
"WHAT?" Zark said to the faceless voice.
"Observe. Looketh yonder in wonderment at the 50 foot tall killer Energizer bunny!"
The hidious, insidious creature was coming up the road banging it's anoying drums with great rapidity! From it's mouth belch foul hating words.....IGOONANDONANDON......over and over again it raged.
Zark tried to wake the boys but found them in different stages of enjoyment.
Orriginal: mmmmm..........Cobra...speed... Keyop: Ohhhhh Julie.... PeeWee: wow.....Playboy! Mickey: Let's rock Crock! OAV: Bugs, bugs, bugs..........
"BOYS! WAKE UP!".........SMACK!
Zark went flying as the beast Energizer bunny knocked him for a loop, but not for long........
"THAT DID IT! THAT DID IT! ZARK MUCH VEXED!" The faithfull co-ordinator said as he tied a rag to his head and swung poor one rover one by the tail!
Now, thou shall fear the rath of Jean Claude Zark Seven Dammit!
Shouting aloud the Quanto Tobor football fight song, Zark flew at the creature with a mighty "WAAAAAATTTTTKAAASAAAAA!"
The air became alive with devisation.........
"Oh no....now the...evil...fanfic.....wri.......... ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.............
*******
"Kowabunga!" Yelled 7 Zark 7 as he laid into the massive pink bunny mecha as it continued it's stupid andgoiongandgoingandgoing........ monlog (stolen from Bugs Bunny in 1945) and causing the Fan fic writer a terrible headache in the process.....
"ROVERANG!" 7 Zark Claude knucklehead screamed with vengence as the ankle biting mechanical mutt tore the offending pick rabbit (made in China, sewn in Italy, Eyes imported
from nanukian eskimos) into little pieces!
At this time, the five Jinpei's awoke from their poppy induced snooze to gaze apon Zark as he stood in heroic prowise above his slain foe and gave utterences (bull @%#$) to add to his ego (big mouth)
"Behold my friends, I your loial Co-Ordinator have triumphed against the forces of evil!......
"SHUT UP ZARK!" The Jinpei's said with collective crankiness as they walked past the pink carcuss (He's dead Jim) and proceeded towards the Emerald (It realy is a fake building in the movie) City.
They reached the huge doors in good time, knowing that on the other side awaited the old, white haired guy who passed himself off as the wizzard ( Like a certain dude from Arkansas calls himself President) and would send them all back from wence they came (Syndication) .
However....did you realy think I'd make it easy for these poor kids? The evil fan fic writer said with a snicker...
Jinpei OAV took hold of the large door knocker and gave it a quick bang! " Now we'll get this stupid thing over with." He said confidently to the other Jinpei's
From a window above them came a small man with an old French Helmet and thick white gloves....." Yeeeessss.....may I uh help yu?"
'Yes." said Jinpei OAV. " We are the five Great Swallows Jinpei and we need to see the Wizzard right away."
"NON! You may not see zee weezard now! Be gone with you, you mindless butterflyables, you small persons, you people who run around in bird suits like a flock of chickens in your Pheonix flying chicken carrier.............
Of course.......The Jinpei's guessed who this offending jerk was......
Orriginal: John Cleese! Keyop: arrreeet Zoltar badaboop in drag! Pee Wee: My Kinderguarden Principal! Mickey: Happy Boy! OAV: Nambu?
"OH NO!" Came suddenly from the Jinpei's "THE FRENCH TAUNTER!!"
