The trials of fatherhood by Ebonyswanne
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Author's Chapter Notes:
This is in response to a story written by Amyltrer "Promises"

Count Egobossler sat there in the newly decorated nursery in his Palace;

He was looking at a clip board in his hands, and he was flicking through the resumes before him. He let a sigh as he looked at the piece of paper that he had written down the names for his new heir.

He decided he couldn’t be called “Blue baby boy” forever!








Helm yes!

“Helm” he thought that sounds like a good strong name, so he went with that one, and put a tick beside it.

He looked up for a moment at the cradle in the middle of the room and felt relief wash over him at the silence.

The baby had cried non stop all the way back from the abandoned Galactor base where the scientist had cloned him in the image of Ego.

He was at a loss as to what to do with it… aah… him!

So he handed the screaming bundle of joy to one of the men and asked him try and shut him up…Some how.

Not that they did any better than he did in calming him down. They just stood there looking at each other, giving tips on what their mother used to do with siblings.

Count Egobossler let out a frustrated breath of hot air as he looked at the cloned version of himself.

In the past day and a half he had tried to be a good father to his son, wanting to bond with him. He even tried changing his nappy, an experience Egobossler would not soon forget.

He had just finished giving him some warm milk from a bottle; the kid was actually cooperative during that exercise.

But then he went to burp him, as the book on “Raising babies for Dumbies”said to do, the little shit decided to throw up all over his clean new red cape. Milk splattered everywhere.

Then baby Helm gave off this awful smell.

He felt the cloth nappy and realized that it had soggy wet feel to it, so he put him down on a table and opened it up…If the kid smelt bad before that this was ten times worse. Runny greenish brown pooh was all over his blue backside.

Ego stepped back for a minute as if he was being taken down by a deadly gas;

He assessed the situation and took action.

Hand held over his nose he carefully removed the soiled nappy throwing it into a bin near by, and then he began to use the baby wipes to clean baby Helm.

Once this was done and the smell have gone away at least a little bit, he removed his hand as little Helm Egobossler smiled and giggled looking at him with mischief in his pale grey eyes, he lay there kicking his chubby little blue legs.

Then he went for the disposable nappy from the packet near by. (He’d sent one of his men shopping for this stuff, babies need so much!)

He had laid the nappy underneath him and was about to do it up when he was hit in the face by a long stream of water, coming straight from the baby’s willy.The kid just giggled more at him as Ego ducked for cover.

“You planned that you little monster… Daddy doesn’t like surprises.” Ego informed his son as he waved a finger in his face,” So you had better watch yourself Helm or I will hand you over to Gatchaman.” Ego stood looking at his son as he handed out the threat, then gave him a menacing look as the baby began to wail. Well he was a proud father in the way that his son was creative in his tactics, but he just didn’t have to try them out on him!

He got out another nappy and put it on him, then wrapped a blanket around him and tried to comfort him as he picked him up and carried him around the room, just to shut him up.

There, there Helm I really didn’t mean that… Daddy can be cruel sometimes… but would I give you to that pesky bird? Just be a good little Helm and daddy will give you a nice inheritance.”

He then put him into the cradle, and stepped back waiting for him to cry himself to sleep.

That was an hour ago and he was still quiet, miracles do happen!

He didn’t want to even think about the bath episode, where he nearly drowned him; he didn’t realize he couldn’t hold himself up yet.

“This was really not a good start for father and son bonding.” Egobossler thought.

Now there was the issue of a nanny for him.

He needed one ASAP, he couldn’t very well take baby Helm on Mecha while he fought the Eagle, in one of those carry back strap thingy’s he’d seen women get around with.

No! This was job for someone else.

” Hopefully she would be someone who was good in bed as well.” The thought crossed his mind bringing a smile to his face.

The first woman came into the room. Egobossler looked at her and even before she opened her mouth she was crossed of the list. She looked to be about 70 years old and a dragon at that. She scared him let alone the kid.

No, young and pretty was all he was interested in, and good with babies.

He sat there for the next hour interviewing candidates; Still no luck as he waited for the next woman to come in, why were all the nannies his second in command sent him so old!

Some of these nannies even had the nerve to suggest his son was not normal and needed medical attention because of his colouring. Those ones nearly left the room via the window.

He did say experienced, but he also said young, cute, sexy etc.

Then she walked into the room, and Count Egobossler knew he had found his nanny!

Fireworks went off as he watched her walk over to the cradle.

She turned and looked at Ego, and smiled a pretty radiant flashing white teeth and pink soft full lips in his direction. He quickly looked at the resume in front of him.

Her name was Junie, and Ego was instantly smitten.

Ohh he is so cute” she whispered in a soft silky voice.” He looks just like you.” She looked almost shy as she walked over to Count Egobossler, and sat down in the chair opposite him.

Ego gave her a smile back.” He’s no trouble really, we have bonded well as father and son…when you can start…aahh Junie” He asked almost too quickly, trying not to drool too much over his next bed mate, there would be plenty of time for that.

“Why immediately if that’s what you need…does he have a mother… and a name?” she said looking back at the crib.

Good, you can start now, his name is Helm Egobossler, and he does not have a mother… but I am open to finding him one. I’ll have a room prepared for you down the hall.” Ego got up from his chair and shook her hand; a jolt of electricity went through him.” I’ll see you later Junie” he then put her hand to his lips and smiled at her as he kissed it.

“Maybe fatherhood wasn’t such a bad thing after all,” he thought as he looked at his new nanny.

Well, back to conquering the world. And with that taken care of he left his son with

Junie and turned and walked quickly from the room before baby Helm woke up.


Junie watched the door for a moment after he left;

The opportunity seemed too good to miss when she overheard the Goons talking about Count Egobossler looking for a nanny.

She was surprised to hear he had a son.

She walked back to the cradle and a wave of pity for this poor child came over her. He was innocent now, but for how long with a father like Egobossler.

She did a quick look around the room again, and spotted a bottle of brandy next to the baby’s bottle filled with milk, “that’s odd” she though as she raised an eyebrow at the strange combination, Junie scanned the room again before bringing her bracelet to her lips.

“This is G-3… G-1 do you hear me She waited for his reply.

“Yes G-3 this is G-1… I hear you, are you in?” He confirmed with her.

She looked back at the baby and spoke into the communicator again. “I’m in alright, and guess what…Count Egobossler’s a daddy, can you believe that, the baby even looks like him! She said, staring in disbelief at the blue baby boy who was smiling back at her with big grey eyes full of mischief.

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