Regrets by Maya Perez
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            I thought I might take a nap since sleep had been in short supply the night before, but I couldn't get my body to cooperate.  Every time I closed my eyes, I kept seeing Anna laughing, Anna playing, then her tiny form unmoving on the tile floor, Rosa's screams echoing off the walls.

            Telling Joe and the others my troubles had brought them too close.  I needed something to distract me, to distract my thoughts, and being alone wasn't going to do it.  Not able to think of anything better, I went looking for the others.

            The table in the common room had been cleared and no one was about.  The soft sound of music filtered in from downstairs.  That sounded promising.  I went on down.

            I spotted Jun as she went by, carrying a load of dishes.  "Jun, wait up."

            The thin girl stopped and smiled over the top of the tray, her cheeks coloring slightly.   "Hi.  What do you need?"

            "Nothing really.  I was just hoping maybe I could volunteer and help you guys out in some way?  To be honest, I'm going a little stir crazy up there."

            "Oh."  Jun seemed at a loss on what to say.

            "Put me to cutting vegetables, doing dishes, anything you need.  Please?"  I tried not to sound as desperate as I felt. 

            Jun's expression cleared.  "Sure, come on.  We'll find you something."  She led the way off toward the kitchen.

            "Jinpei, Kess is looking for something to do.  Do you need any help back here?"

            Jinpei threw them a look over his shoulder, currently flipping a couple of burgers over an open grill.  He currently had on an apron, with words on it, but I couldn't see them from this angle.  "I dunno.  What can you do?"

            Jun frowned at him at the question, but said nothing.  I guess they still hadn't explained to him about the birds and the bees, or more specifically, paying ones.

            "I know how to make soup stock, spaghetti sauce, both Northern and Southern Italian styles.  I've made quiches, soufflés, noodles, pastries, cakes, pies.  But if you need more elbow grease kind of work, I've done my share of that too.  What do you need?"

            The boy's eyes had grown large at my list.  "Really? You can make all that?"  He turned fully around.  His apron proclaimed, "will cook for food."

            "From scratch.  My clients enjoy good food, but don't always want to go out for it."

            "Neechan can't even boil water right." 

            "Jinpei!"  Jun looked sorely tempted to throw a few plates in his direction.  "My brother exaggerates."  She sent him a death look, daring him to contradict her.

            Jinpei quickly changed the subject.  "Neechan, maybe it'd be good to have some pies for the customers this afternoon.  Maybe some cakes too?"

            Jun stared at the hopeful look on her brother's face.  "Kess, if you really wouldn't mind?"

            "I'd love to."

            "And we can have any leftovers with dinner!"  The kid grinned from ear to ear.

            "Help yourself to whatever you need," Jun said.  "If we don't have something, Jinpei will run to the store and get it for you."

            "Thanks."  It would be nice to do something normal again.

            Jun set the dishes in the sink then maneuvered over to her brother.  "And you won't pester her while she works, understand?"

            Jinpei gave her and indignant huff.  "Of course not.  I'm a cook too, you know."

            Jun threw him a doubtful glance then left us on our own.  I tried hard not to let my amusement show.

            Jinpei gave me a quick rundown on where things were in his domain and then I got down to work.  Between the fast paced music on the radio and Jinpei's questions on what recipes I was going to use or how I could get this or that effect, I had all the distractions from my wayward thoughts I could want and more.

            We'd just finished whipping the icing for the banana cake when the music came to an abrupt end and a news brief came on.  I was only half listening, watching Jinpei happily licking the beaters when something they said caught at my attention.

            "-hospital.  A raging fire has broken out inside the children's wing.  No clues yet as to whether it's an accident or an act of terrorism."

            I went cold all over.  I found myself turning toward the radio as if a puppeteer were pulling my strings.  A hospital, the children's ward--but which one?

            "Fire trucks are rolling from other areas of the city to combat this fearsome blaze.  Patients have been evacuated, but it's too early to tell if there have been any casualties."

            Which hospital?

            "Kess?"

            Which one, dammit!  Was that too much to ask?

            "Hold on, we have an update just coming off the wire."

            I felt like shouting in exasperation at the man on the radio even as a part of me insisted I didn't want to know.

            "It seems an anonymous call went to the local branch of the UN here several minutes ago to claim responsibility for the fire currently decimating the north building of the Mercy Hospital complex.  The group is calling themselves the Black Trench Coats and have cited undue stubbornness as the reason for their attack.  I can tell you right off this is one of the strangest things I've ever heard."

            I almost fell to the floor as my knees abruptly tried to buckle out from under me.  Mercy Hospital, the children's ward, black trench coats... "Anna!"

            "Kess, what's wrong?"  Jinpei jumped up before me his worried face intruding into my field of vision.

            Anna was in danger--in danger because of me.  It had never occurred to me they'd go after her.  She was in a comma, what good would she do them?  Why?  Leave her out of this!  She's innocent.

            I shot for the back door, knocking Jinpei down in the process.  But I couldn't stop to think of him.  Nothing mattered now, nothing except getting to Anna before they did.  Sliding out into the alley, I headed for the nearest street.

            After that, things became a blur.  I never noticed when Jun rode up to me on a motorcycle as I careened madly down the sidewalk.  Only her insistent gesturing and some deep rationale in my mind, got me to slow down enough to jump on behind her.

            Smoke stained the sky, a black pillar above the skyline.  The stench of it choked the air as we reached a police barricade.  The white walls of the hospital's north building were scorched and dark, tongues of flame poking through broken windows, daring the streams of water rising from the fire engines to put them out.  Flashing lights blinked everywhere, wail of sirens echoed off the buildings.  Policemen and firefighters fought to get ahead, even as volunteers and hospital staff wheeled patients, machines, anything and everything as far away from the fire as they could.

            I took all this in, jumping off Jun's bike before she'd come to a complete stop.  Ignoring that and the buggy which almost ran me down, I wove past the barricade and accosted the first officer I ran across.

            "My daughter was one of the children in the ward.  Where did they take them?"  I tried not to scream in his face, knowing I would have yanked the information out of him as I ran past if I'd been able.

            "Ma'am, the children have been taken to tents set up in the park on the other side of the complex.  But right now, you should probably-"

            I never heard the rest, I didn't wait around for it.  Dodging and darting past the workers, I headed toward the park.

            "Kess!  Wait for us!"

            I glanced over my shoulder and spotted Jun, Ryu, and Jinpei just behind me.  I waved at them to follow but otherwise did nothing to slow down.  There was only one thing which was important to me right now.

            At the sight of trees, I put on a burst of speed.  Anxious parents, medical personnel, and volunteers crowded around several large, open sided tents set on the green lawn of the park.  I shoved and pushed, making my way along until I finally caught sight of a familiar face.  The woman looked haggard and worn, her eyes red and her nurses uniform drab from smoke and dirt.  A large red bump was changing colors on one side of her forehead.   "Nurse Chung, isn't it?  I'm looking for my daughter, Anna Yoshida?  She was a patient in the children's ward."

            At first the nurse just nodded at me as if this question had been asked of her a million times already.  Abruptly, a spark of recognition lit her face.  "Oh, little Anna's mother.  Yes."

            "That's right, Anna's mother.  Have you seen my daughter?"  I could barely stand to be still as I waited for her to summon the energy to answer me.

            "I'm sorry."  Her eyes couldn't quite focus. "I haven't seen her.  But that doesn't mean anything.  We're trying to tally up all the children now.  It's just proving a little difficult."  She motioned to the madhouse around them. 

            Chagrin and despair flowed in equal measure at her answer.  "I have to find her."

            The nurse said nothing, the pity in her eyes telling me amply she had no real idea on what to do.

            "Did you find her?"  Jun was suddenly at my side, the other two just behind her.

            "No.  I'm going to go look for her."  I started to turn away, having no idea where I should begin.

            "Wait!"  Jinpei shot out in front of me.  "Let us help.  Tell us what she looks like."

            The offer warred against my desperate need to go find Anna.  "She's about six months old.  Her skin is a light brown and she has short, tight curls.  She'll be the only one who looks asleep in all this mess."

            I saw Ryu blink as the description didn't add up to look like me, but said nothing.

            "Got it," June said.  "Let's look around and meet by that tree right there in fifteen minutes.  That way we can let each other know if we found her."

            I gave a curt nod, glad Jun had thought of this, because I hadn't.  Then I picked a direction at random and set off to search.

            I drifted from place to place, staring into the faces of crying, unhappy children.  They had them bundled in blankets, set in wheelchairs, gurneys, anything available.  I looked into red eyes, puffed faces, some covered with soot, all smelling of smoke.  Aside from whatever reason they'd been brought to the hospital in the first place, however, they seemed basically unharmed, for which I was very grateful.  At least I would have one less thing weighing my conscience, since all this chaos had been brought about because of me.

            As each minute ticked by, I felt my desperation eating at me from the inside.  Though I stopped every doctor and nurse I passed, none had seen my daughter.  I waited until the last possible moment, moving to peer into one more face, before running all the way back to the meeting place, praying one of the others had found her.

            All three were already there waiting for me when I got there.  One look at their fallen expressions told me all there was to say.  "You didn't find her."

            Jun wouldn't meet my eyes directly.  "No, but we could have missed her.  Let's try again."

            I shook my head, my despair staining my soul.  "She's not here!  They did this.  They took her."  And they would kill her.  I would never see my precious joy again.

            "Kess!"

            I turned around at my name, and spotted Joe and Ken coming toward us.  Despite his willingness to help, despite everything I'd done, the bad men had still won.  Something warm made its way down my face.

            Realizing what it was, I turned away from all of them, brusquely wiping at my cheek.  All of it, all of it had been for nothing.

            "Ken, Kess' daughter is missing."  The sadness in those five words made me scream inside.

            "Are you sure?"

            Jun made no vocal response but from the silence which followed I was sure she'd nodded. 

            "Galactor has taken her."  I shut my eyes, wishing my voice weren't so full of my anguish and growing self-hatred.  "An anonymous phone call said responsibility was being claimed by a group called the Black Trench Coats.  It was something they knew I'd recognize."  By calling the UN they'd assured the information would be put on every news station from coast to coast.  They'd wanted to make sure, no matter where I'd gone, that I'd find out what they'd done. 

            "They've not given up on their objective."

            I turned in surprise at the unexpected voice.  Though I'd only met him a few times, there was no mistaking that square jaw, that calm presence.  Incredible as it seemed to me, Kozaburo Nambu, the head of the ISO was standing but a few feet away from me and seemed to know what was going on.

            "I doubt they'll hurt your daughter until they get what they want."

            Almost as quickly as the unexpected words brought a flare of hope inside me, it was extinguished.  "But I've no way to contact them.  I don't have any idea how to give it to them!"

            As I tried to keep a grip on myself, part of me noticed there was no surprise in any of the others at the famous scientists presence.  Could this, could this be the doctor they'd spoken to me about?  It seemed too much to believe.

            "What about your apartment?" Ken suggested.  "It's the one spot the two of you have in common.  If they were going to meet you, or leave you instructions, it would probably be there."

            It made sense.  He was right.  It was the only place we had in common.  I had to get there, now, before they could change their minds and hurt my little girl.

            "Kess!"  Joe grabbed at my arm and I twisted around ready to fight him if I had to.  "Recklessly doing what they want won't get Anna back."  His face grew hard, his eyes blazing.  "They're going to pay for what they've done to you, and your daughter will be saved, but to do that, you can't go meet them without us.  If anything, we should go and you should stay."

            "No!  She's my responsibility."  I yanked my arm from his grip, but before I could go, Ken cut me off as well.  "Joe's right.  The five of us can check out the apartment, make sure they haven't left any surprises there, in case they think they can get what they want without giving your daughter back.  We might even be able to find some clues, so meeting them won't even be necessary.  I promise we'll do nothing to endanger your daughter."

            They really wanted to go without me?  "But..."

            Nambu placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder.  "Miss Kessington, no one is better suited to deal with this than they are.  This matter couldn't be in safer hands." 

            I hung my head feeling suddenly helpless.  They were right; I couldn't do this alone.  And they seemed to know what they were doing.  If they didn't want me along...  "All right.  I'll-I'll do as you say."  It was one of the hardest things I'd ever had to utter in my life.

            "The file in the car has her address."  Nambu faced the others his tone all business.  "I'll call the security team to pick us up and take us back to the office.  I'll expect a report once you get there."  He still had his hand on my shoulder.  Maybe he thought I would run.

            "Roger."

            The four boys took off, but Jun took a moment to take my hand in hers.  "Don't worry, we'll find her for you."

            I appreciated the words, and nodded to her as she left, but I just couldn't bring myself to believe them.

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