Many people of different faiths believe they were made in their God's image, or that their gods are mostly human in appearance. It gives them a connection to their deity or deities, to believe that those all-powerful beings look in some way like themselves. That resemblance makes them believe they are something special, that they mean more to their gods than the mindless beasts of the field and scurrying insects of the plains, and so on down the tree of life to the viruses multiplying in the lichen growing at its roots. Since belief without proof is all they have, they have to find whatever they can to identify themselves with the objects of their faiths.

My religion is a little different. I commune with my God on a daily basis. I listen to Him, not in the way of the mystic with trances and visions, or through his disembodied voice manifesting in my head, but with my ears - sometimes until they bleed. I don't pray and hope that He's listening and cares enough to take notice of me, I speak face to face with Him and - while He may choose not to listen - He leaves me in no doubt that He hears me. He's uniquely accessible, for a God. I know, I've researched the whole religious 'thang' in my spare time. Not that He doesn't keep me busy enough doing His work, but I'm an exceptionally fast reader. I'm exceptional in many ways. That's how He made me. Not in His image, but theirs, and better.

With different motives, I'd be a Messiah. If I had known back when He handed me control of this organisation what I know now, I would have styled myself as one. People seem to be attracted to mysticism. I could have brought half the world under my influence if He'd decided to launch me into their sight with a bit of levitation and divine glowing and small miracles. It wouldn't have been an effort for Him, but it's not how He likes to do things. Perhaps I would have even demonstrated my true nature, to show how unique I am, to have them believe in me and my special relationship with my God. The Messiah, both man and woman, beautiful and freakish in equal measure, come to save them from themselves. Oh, but how terrifying it would have been to do that, to risk rejection by so many, to have them hunt me down or report on my style faux-pas in celebrity gossip magazines. 'Berg Katse uses dog shampoo, and isn't he/she getting a bit old to be dressing for Halloween every day?' 'Messiah's kinky love secrets revealed by kiss and tell quadsexual lover' No, that doesn't appeal to me at all. And no ex-lover of mine would live long enough to kiss and tell. I value my privacy. And, perhaps, I wouldn't be able to keep up the "everyone is so totally worth loving" act. Because they're not.

And if my God had access to others who would love Him, not knowing His true nature, He might choose to love one of them more than me. I don't think I could bear that. I may be His finest creation but He's never let me be confident of my place in His affections. He's told me often enough that I'm not as brilliant as he created me to be, that He'll find a replacement for me. He's not a loving, tender God.

But then, most Gods are shaped by the lifestyles and requirements of their worshippers, aren't they? In places where life is hard, gods are bastards who demand sacrifice and unbending obedience. Where one's place in the community is literally a matter of life and death, it's so much more important to obey the rules, and because of that the rules can be terribly harsh. If life is hell and eternal hell is so much worse than life, a god doesn't have to be lovable as long as he offers an improvement, even if that improvement is post-mortem. If life is so comfortable that it is capable of being lived for one's own pleasure instead, then a god has to be very lovable indeed to offer anything worthwhile. But then, that's because those other gods aren't able to stand there and shout "Obey Me" and force their subjects to listen, or to literally smite people with enormous apocolyptic monsters - it's quite an attention grabber. My God is an angry god, He is an utter bastard, cruel and abusive. But the reward He has promised me, that's another matter. There are no vague promises of the wonders my soul will experience after I die, my reward is tangible. I will be king of the world, the new God's Chosen, leader of great new races, and both unenhanced humanity and His other creations will bow down to me and be my collective slave. And I will be as terrible and terrifying to them as my God is to me. My imagination is limitless. Their lives will be changed forever and they'll learn to love their new bastard God.

And then maybe He'll love me.