Consequences by Ebonyswanne
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Jun felt like she could just drop onto her bed and sleep forever...

How many missions have we run over the past month? She thought miserably, too many and the war had been escalating with Galactor throwing at them everything they had.

Walking past Dr.Pandora's office she noticed her holding something, and she had tears on her cheeks.

"Dr.Pandora." Jun said knocking on the open door.

She jumped and quickly stashed the photo she had in her hand into a draw, then she put on a fake smile.

"Jun, I thought you had all retired for some sleep."  Dr.Pandora recovered quickly from her moment of sorrow and went back to looking at her computer.

"Is something troubling you Dr.Pandora?" Jun asked walking into the room she put a hand on her shoulder.

"No, I'm fine." She fobbed off Jun's concern- this action only worried Jun more.

"Why don't we go and have a coffee at the café in the rainforest." Jun said trying to get her away from the monitor.

Dr.Pandora considered Jun's offer of some time out from working. Eventually she accepted.

Walking down to the café some of the lethargy lifted from Jun, she needed to have some time out herself from thinking about her problems. The first chance she got when they had a short break in the missions to go back to the Snack J she a message to contact Val at the adoption office urgently. They had to inform Matt and Natasha that Ken the birth father had reservations about the adoption proceeding.

"Jun, the both of you need to come into the office so we can talk about this...Do you a contact number for him?" Val asked, she sounded very concerned herself about what was going to happen. Jun could only guess how Matt and Natasha would be feeling if Ken wanted to take him away from them...

"No," she lied." I'll try and track him down and see if he'll come in with me." Jun promised before hanging up, it was all she could do.

"This is a lovely spot- it's hard to believe it's at the bottom of the ocean." Dr.Pandora said while they sat down and ordered lattes and something to snack on.

"I know this place is the most amazing research centre on the planet." Jun relaxed into the cosy soft lounge chair....she could drift off to sleep in the soft leather. Dr.Pandora brought her out of her longing to sleep again with a comment.

"Jun...did you ever know your family?" Dr.Pandora's voice took on a distant tone.

"No...I was abandoned at an orphanage when I was a new born baby..." Jun said she had accepted it a long time ago.

"I'm sorry to hear that..." Dr.Pandora smiled warmly at the young girl sitting the coffee's and cakes on the table.

"How about you Dr.Pandora?" Jun asked watching her face closely, Dr.Pandora flinched slightly.

"I'm all alone in the world Jun...some things are better off left alone to rest." She turned her eyes to look out at the window at the ocean. "The bottom of the sea can be a lonely place...how many unmarked graves are there from over the years of humans exploring the oceans do you think?"

Jun felt stumped by her deep cryptic question and she searched for an answer that might fit. "A lot I believe...it would be a peaceful grave... from what I have heard..."

"Yes it would, they a death by drowning is the most peaceful." She closed her eyes for a minute as if in deep thought, and then shook her head to clear her thoughts. "What a depressing conversation...sorry Jun."

She began to eat her cake and sip at her coffee like they had never talked about dying through drowning.

"I agree..." Jun said masking her curiosity about why Dr.Pandora would talk like.

"Well...I have a meeting with Dr.Nambu in five minutes at the labs." She announced standing up. "We have a lot of data to work through from the information you all gathered on the Solar shifter plan...we should be able to find a way to stop Galactor soon. Thank you for the coffee Jun...I'll have them put on my account."

Jun watched her briskly walk away...

A few minutes later Jun walked passed her office again and she noticed the door open with no one in there.

Walking in she opened the draw she saw Dr.Pandora stash the picture in. Looking at the little blond haired girl smiling with bright blue eyes she began to wonder if Dr.Pandora gave up a child just like she did, if so then she knew her pain, putting the picture back she decided to respect her privacy, after all how long did it take her to be able to talk about. Jun thought.

"Jun, what are you doing?" She turned to see Ken standing at the door.

"Just waiting for Dr.Pandora, but it looks like she won't be back for a while." Jun said offhandedly walking out the door. Ken seemed to accept this and he fell into step beside her.

"What are you doing here?" she asked keeping the conversation light.

"There have been some murders of young ISO men...I think Galactor might have something to do with it so I've been doing some research. "Ken said seriously.

"Have you found anything?" Jun looked at his serious face- Ken just shook his head and became lost in his thoughts.

Silently they walked for a while towards their personal quarters.

"Ken...have you thought any more on what I said to you on the way back?" Jun asked as they reached her door. She had asked him to consider going into Val's office with her and talk about their options regarding Dyami's future.

"Yes..." He said, she tried to detect his feelings in that one word.

"And?" She waited.

" Jun, this whole thing has sent my world into a spin... and not once have you even truly admitted you were wrong...it's like you blamed me for getting you pregnant and then decided this is the most fitting punishment."

Jun drew in a deep breath... "Alright I should have told you...satisfied."

"No, you have to mean it Jun." He moved in closer, why did she always go to jelly when he came into her personal space. She thought absently.

"I'm too tired to sound like I mean it Ken... " She opened the door and to her surprise he followed her inside.

"Do you?" Ken asked again. "I want hear it Jun...I need to know."

"You need," She turned on him exhaustion amplified her anger and frustration over the whole painful past year. "Is that all you care about? What Ken needs and wants...I bet your stopping the adoption to punish me for making a mistake...Washio did you ever once think...think about me as more than a summer fling, it was nice but there's nothing more to it than that."

Ken looked surprised by her outburst.

 "I thought about you everyday when I was in Burma...and in Africa...I came back for you." Ken respond in a calm quiet voice that took the fight out of her.

Jun's voice became quiet too. "And I thought about you when I was in labour all alone in my bathroom thinking I would have to delivery him on my own. I was so scared Ken...I've never felt that afraid in my entire life...what if he died because I didn't get the right medical care since I had to hide it to protect him...then that would have been my burden to bear alone too." She said collapsing onto her bed she began to cry, she didn't expect Ken to comfort her...she didn't expect anything from him ever again.

 They said nothing for a long time, eventually walked over and he laid her down on the bed and pulled the blankets over her, the last thing she heard as she fell into a dreamless sleep was his soft footsteps on the carpet as he left the room.

* * * *

When she eventually woke from her slumber Jun gradually sat up and switched on her side lamp.

With a good rest her thoughts became clearer. He conversation with Ken had gone badly again. Jun hugged her legs closer to body resting her chin on them as she began to run through it in her mind.

She did feel sorry not telling him, it became apparent during her outburst that she did truly feel sorry for not telling him about Dyami. Rectifying it became the harder part and overcoming her need to find excuses for her bad choices only drove a bigger rift between them.

Ken could be stubborn and forgiveness was one of his strong points when felt betrayed. Did she betray him Jun pondered...she deceived him when she could have been honest.

But why? She asked herself. Why did she feel the need to hide it from when they had such a trusting relationship?

Then her thoughts went back to a time before Dr.Nambu appeared at the orphanage...

She tried to ask a lady who worked there about her mother. Why she abandoned her. The woman shook her head sadly telling Jun she would be better to forget about questions there were no answers for.

Feeling totally unsatisfied Jun snuck into the records room...it was then that she found the scrunched up note, and a description of how she had been found. She was approximately ten days old, wrapped in a blanket... Abandoned.

Her greatest fear she would be like the mother she never knew, he greatest fear had been to have a child she couldn't care for. Is that why she didn't want to look for her, Jun feared what she would find out if she did manage to locate her. She had always wondered if her mother had loved a man only to be abandoned by him... too young to care for a child on her own...to afraid to face the truth of it so she left the reminder of her lovers betrayal on the doorstep of an orphanage. That had been the story she played in her mind from the time she read a book when she was ten about a girl that had been left that way...

Ken kept saying he was too much like his father because he hit her, but maybe she was like a woman she never knew, they only gift she gave Jun was life and then she walked away...Just like she did to Dyami. Jun shuddered, she had grown tired of crying, tired of trying to work it out in her mind and deal with it while she continued to find ways to shift the entire blame off her shoulders. Startled by that notion she sat upright. Had she been wanting him to take the blame from her, but Ken refused to do it...

Jinpei had begun to distance himself from her- the only time they really talked at the moment was on missions. She tried to talk to him, but Jinpei wouldn't have a bar of it, his rejection cut her deeply, Ryu gave her sympathetic smiles. Joe every now and them would show her he still cared. But he seemed to have become more neutral

She ran her fingers through her long ebony locks and untangled a few knots, pulling back the blankets she swung her legs over the side of the bed and undressed to jump into the shower.

 The warm water running down her back made her feel more human again.

"Jun." She heard Ken's voice, for a moment she thought it was in her bracelet.

"Jun...are you here?" She heard him ask.

Blushing she began to wash the soap off her body, it had been a long time since he had seen her naked with water running over her body, she blushed even deeper with memories of the times they made love in the shower that came floating into her mind.

"Ken I'll be out in a minute." She called hurrying to finish her shower she quickly dried off and wrapped a towel around her body to make a quick dash out to get her clothes.

"Here," she heard him, Looking up she saw his hand through a crack in the bathroom door holding her clothes.

"Thanks." She said grateful for his discretion.

Dressing quickly she dried her hair and picked up a brush as she headed out to see why he was back in her quarters again.

He had a file in his hand and he placed it on her desk.

Running the brush through her damp hair Jun looked at the file and Ken's troubled face.

"I can't make any sense of it, why would they be killing those men, they all have one thing in common...they are my age." Ken sat down on her bed while Jun opened up the file.

"Have you spoken to Dr.Nambu?" She asked looking at the bodies of men she had never seen before, he nodded and waited for her response.

"Ken they're all pilots..." She sat down at her desk and switched on the side lamp.

"I know and that's what worries me...I think Galactor are looking for me." Ken stood up and he began to pace the room.

"Why did you need my opinion if you have already reached one?" She said raising an inquisitive eyebrow.

"You help me work things through my mind, besides Joe just thinks I'm being paranoid." Ken shoved his hands deep into his pockets and leaned against the wall.

"You could be...but then Galactor I bet are dying to know what you really look like." Jun said closing the file.

"Jun... I understand what you meant when you said you were afraid of Galactor finding out about Dyami." He looked scared. She couldn't remember a day in her life when Ken had truly looked afraid.

"Ken...I've said a lot of things." She looked at him seriously. "The only thing I've never really said to you is that I'm truly sorry about not telling you about him, and avoiding you... you had a right to know, and denied you the chance to be part of any decisions being made for him." Shame for her bad choices filled her, she meant every word, and she did feel she owned him an apology and much more. Even if it was too late to win back his love and respect.

Ken's eyes went wide as she spoke. "You really mean that don't you."

"Yes...I should never have tried to place it all on your shoulders." she whispered humbly- she felt suddenly choked up by the rush of emotions she didn't expect from saying how the words that had been playing on her mind but she had been to full of pride to say them.

Ken didn't say anything more as their bracelets began to beep and they ran out of the room to see what Dr.Nambu wanted.

 

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